It Begins

Blogging is, by now, a cliched concept; perhaps believing one will discover, or create, something novel is akin to waiting for a thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters to produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Despite the seemingly Sisyphean task that is attempting to make a worthwhile contribution to the double-stuffed burrito of online sporting critique, John Carson, ever the dreamer, has convinced me of the worthiness of participating in this (David) Seaman themed adventure. So, let us proceed onto the blurst of times.

Many of my posts will be unoriginal, most will be antagonistic. So that no one can accuse me of not being a man of my word, I’ll start my brief history of the off-season with notes on Manchester United.

It makes sense to start with United since they made the biggest splash in the transfer market (and happen to be Johnny’s team). What the hell are they doing? I don’t get it. Perhaps my fuller side burns and translucent pallor prevent me from understanding the rosy-cheeked Lou Van G’s long-term tactical project. They brought in legitimate talent, but paid over the top for almost all of it, and they have failed to fill areas of need. Is there a formation to accommodate three left backs and no central midfielders? If one exists, the Notorious L.V.G. is the man to find it. He impressed me this summer at the World Cup by guiding a slow, aging squad, short on talent, long on injury-prone egomaniacs all the way to third place. (Side note: is Juan Mata going to follow Kagawa, Hernandez and the great Luis Nani out the door? It is sad to see such a talented player undervalued by a second consecutive team.)

Chelsea look to have done good business. I am a bit skeptical that Costa and Cesc will remain healthy — but if they do, it will be an exciting year in West London. I was sad to see Lukaku go, and disappointed the midfield depth was not improved at the expensive of Ramires and/or Mikel, but thank god I no longer have to pretend to believe in Fernando Torres.

Arsenal’s transfer policy continues to mistily me. Every year it looks as if they’ve a strong squad with enough talent to make a title challenge if they can just add one or two key players—they always seem to have the cash available to do so—yet they prefer to perpetually build for the future. Instead of making a play for Javier Hernandez, Falcao, or Balotelli they spent big on Danny Welbeck; this is not to say Welbeck isn’t a solid player, but he isn’t in the same class as the later two names, and simply doesn’t possess the poacher’s instinct of Hernandez, who’s intelligent movement would have surely flourished were it supported by Arsenal’s slick passing midfield. Speaking of their midfield, it seems they should have added a player that can put in a tackle without getting injured.

Liverpool diversified their portfolio of talent, adding depth all over the pitch, however, I’m not sure it will be enough to fill the Suarez sized void up front. Balotelli has a world of talent and is worth the gamble (especially at the mooted transfer fee). I agree with John that Markovic looks like a real talent.  Moreno is no slouch either.

City had a sensible offseason, adding depth and shedding dead weight, though I think Negredo will be missed. Aguero and Jovetic have missed a lot of time the past two seasons; if they stay healthy, City will be fine, but the pair have shown an inability to consistently do so.

Finally, I was saddened to watch the partial dismemberment of Southampton. Unfortunately, it looks like the vultures are still circling. How long will they be able to hold on to Ward-Prowse, Wanyama, Schneiderlin and Jay Rodriguez?

This marks the end of what is surly to be my most sensible, least inane post. I look forward to rambling maniacally without focus during future contributions. I know our readership (John and myself) look forward to viewing my thoughts.